Let's Get Dirty
by A Ghost That Nobody Sees
Summary: FIRST OF ALL, THIS IS NOT A SMUT FIC. Second of all, we all know that Dave has Mysophobia. But what happens when his older cousin, Noah, forces him to get over it? Did it work? Will Noah survive? And will Dave ever call himself a man? SECOND CHAPTER: Dave visits Sky & tells her that he beat his fear of dirt. Noah on the other hand isn't too amused. RATED FOR SWEARING,GERMS & DAVE.
1. Chapter 1: It Ends Here!

**Ok, for some reason I came up with this silly Dave and Noah idea… and it involves Dave's fear of dirt and how much Noah's annoyed by it. I will be posting an AN for 'My Choice' referring to a hiatus because I've got lots of stories to write up. Plus that story's slowly going down anyway. I won't give up on it though. **

**So enjoy the feels, the laughter, and Dave's issues. Who else ships these two as distant relatives?**

**PS: THIS CHAPTER WAS UPDATED A BIT. And if you haven't read my profile clearly, I do take requests and I've received none yet so if you're interested in making me write a story for you, let me know. It'll all depend on what you want me to write and what my decision will be.**

* * *

><p>"Dave! Get your spotless ass over here," I shouted. Dave and his family are currently living in my four-storey home for the holidays. And I have to admit, I have never felt this annoyed in my life. Oh wait, that's right, I'm always annoyed. And the person who nears me to my breaking point: DAVE. A month ago, he and Sky finally hooked up for good thanks to me.<p>

I'm already doubting myself whether that was the right thing to do or not, because Dave has gotten absolutely nuts over this. Well, more than nuts, he's gone bananas and my temper's literally slipping on it.

"There are, like, twenty people in this house at the moment. Go call someone else!" Dave shouted back. I growled, "Well I called _you_ so get down here right now!" I came back with no response. I rolled my eyes as one of my elder sisters passed by me. "Geez, just bribe him to come down or something," says she. I glared at her, "Yeah, stay out of this. I'm in a foul mood right now," I warned.

"Oh yeah? What are you going to do about it shortie?" she scoffed.

I pretended to think for a moment. "Yeah, how about I take away your lipstick collection for the entire summer," I warned her angrily. Lipsticks are her life, and I have tried the same thing with my two-year-older sister's barbie doll collection back when I was six, and it sure worked like a charm. I hid them in a safe in my room for three weeks until my parents came back. It's not my fault. She unplugged my computer when I was so close to finishing a boss level. The best part was, my parents let me get away with it. It just goes to show that sometimes the youngest child can be the boss. She looked back at me, rolled her eyes trying not to sound threatened and walked off. "What-ever."

I smirked as she walked off. I thought of a way to get Dave down. "Well if you're not coming down, I guess I'll have to call Sky and tell her all your deepest darkest secrets. And PS: I have her phone number," I yelled loud enough for him to hear.

Suddenly, I saw Dave run down the stairs and jump on me. "YOU WOULDN'T DARE!" he growled, trying to search my pockets for my phone. I shoved his face and torso away with my hand and foot. "Try me," I muttered darkly. We both shared a glaring contest before Dave gave in and pulled himself away from me.

"Why did you call me? I was in the middle of something!" he shouted, even though he was just a foot away from me.

"In the middle of what, your little Valentine shopping spree for Sky?" I teased.

"Something like that, so stay out of it and leave me alone!" I glared at him.

"I'm afraid I can't do that. Oh wait, I'm not afraid. Mom told me to call you and help her do the gardening," I said, gesturing my thumb towards the backyard. I did all the work earlier today without trying to complain, and now my mom wants me to call my spoiled younger cousin to help her do the dirty work. And I can tell you this, it's not going to be easy.

Dave shuddered at the thought of that. "Yeah… I don't think so. You know how I am with dirt. I am _**SO**_ not doing that," he complained. I glared at him.

"Dave, do you know how much I value my hatred for you?" I asked, ready to shoot daggers at him.

Dave glared at me. "Of course I have. You're just jealous because I have a new girlfriend."

"This isn't about your Olympian secretive girlfriend, Dave. This is about your stupid fear of dirt," I scowled.

"What does my 'stupid' fear of dirt have to do with this?" Dave asked. I don't know if he's trying to sound stupid or if he's trying to make ME sound stupid.

I face palmed myself and glared daggers at him. If I wanted to, I'd make these daggers stab him in the back. "Have you been listening to me or have you just been born yesterday?" I asked angrily.

"I have been listening, and let me tell you this: I hate dirt!" he screamed

"You think I don't know that? I just want to know why!" I screamed back. Out of the corner of my eye, some of my brothers were snickering as they watched us fight... again. We've been fighting since the day we met.

"I hate it because it's gross, icky, dirty, slimy, and germy! No WAY am I touching that crud," gagged Dave, coming up with mental images about his past events with dirt.

"You joined the latest Total Drama season and you haven't had the _nerve_ to get over your fear?! I can't call you a man if you're like that! Also, you complain about your allergies and they haven't even been tested yet!"

"So have yours!" Dave protested.

"They _have_ been tested, Dave. I've been sent to the hospital enough times just by getting in touch with them! And at least I don't get all hesitant and complain whenever Sadistic-Chrissy-Boy-Handsome tries to treat my life unfairly when I played back in the past few seasons," I retorted. "And guess what, Sparkly Pants, you are getting over your fear and we are testing your allergies whether you like it or not!"

Dave flinched in fear. "WHO ARE YOU, MY MOM?"

"No, but I WILL be your overly strict OLDER COUSIN and I WILL turn you into a man, even if it takes bringing you to hell with me under a pile of germs if I have to!"

Dave turned to his heel and started to make a run for his dear clean life. "Well you're not, and you never will!" he screamed as he ran off. I groaned in anger.

"COME BACK HERE YOU SON OF A BI-" I prepared my stance as I was about to make a run for it until-

"NOAH!" yelled an old female voice.

I stopped and stood straight up. "Yeah mom?" As much as I hate saying this, nearly the entire family fears her. Luckily she fears me because of my abnormally high IQ.

"WHERE'S DAVE? I TOLD YOU TO CALL HIM TEN MINUTES AGO," she yelled.

"Give me some time mom. Can't you see he's chickening out of this again?" I screamed back, but not loud enough for her to come in here and screw up my face.

"IF HE'S NOT HERE IN FIVE MINUTES YOU WILL BE HELPING HIM WITH THE GARDENING AND IF HE'S NOT HERE IN TEN MINUTES, YOU'RE TAKING HIS PLACE," she yelled. I would feel threatened by that but I have never felt this pissed in my life. I growled and started searching the house for Dave. If it's one thing he's not good at, it's hiding. I tricked him yesterday, saying that my family hasn't cleaned the house in a week, and boy did he fall for it.

However, catching Dave's not going to be easy. All I need is a rope and someone who knows how to tie a good knot. Without caring, someone knocked on the door and opened it carelessly. It was Cody. Turns out the dork borrowed my Wii for the weekend.

"Hey, Noah, thanks for letting me borrow your Wii! I'll just… uh… leave it here," he said, putting it down on the rug. I smirked. That's it!

"Your family seems busy so I guess I'll go now," he said, waving goodbye. I immediately sprinted towards him and grabbed his hand before he could shut the door. "Not so fast, womanizer. I need your help," I called out, startling him slightly.

"With the chores? Oh, dude, don't do this to me man!" Cody complained.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not that, we did the chores yesterday. We're doing the gardening today. I need your help with Dave."

Cody looked at me confusedly, "Who's Dave?"

I released his hand. "Have you or have you not watched Total Drama Pahkitew Island?" Cody thought for a moment and shook his head. "Um… I didn't know Chris was legally allowed to make a new season. I pretty much gave up on watching that show. It gives me chills just thinking about it. I mean I watched All Stars because Gwen and Sierra were in on it but that's pretty much all I know."

"Close enough," I sighed. "I kinda need your help with catching Dave. It turns out he's got a fear of dirt and has tons of untested allergies and I need you to help me catch him. Are you in?"

Cody made a hesitant expression and scratched his head nervously. "I- I don't know…. I'm not that good at catching people, hehe. I'm only good at getting caught by them," he said sheepishly. I couldn't help but smile. It's just great to remember all the embarrassing moments Chris has given us isn't it?

"Yeah, well I don't really need your stamina for this. All I can say is, how good are you with tying a knot?" I asked mischievously. Cody got the idea and gave me a devious grin "Oh I get you… but how are we going to catch him?"

I shook my head. "Leave that to me."

Out of nowhere, one of my younger cousins came in and had her eyes widened at Cody. "OH MY GOSH IS THAT _THE_ CODY ANDERSON?! EEEE! NOAH, WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?"

Cody froze in fear, making the _'Oh crap, I have another obsessive fan' _expression. "NOAH CAN I BORROW HIM FOR THE NIGHT?" she begged. What the hell? She's only twelve years old.

Cody shuddered and hid behind me. "Uh, I think I'll pass…" I stared at both of them blankly. "The cuter faces you make, the more she'll beg…" I whispered, making his pupils shrink. I turned back to her. "Sorry, Anne, but he's mine for the day. I need him to help me out with your older brother."

"BUT I WANT TO HANG OUT WITH CODY!" she cried. Cody and I stared at each other, concerned. Cody took a deep breath and walked towards the little girl and knelt to her size. **(They're both 18 and Dave is 16)** "I'll hang out with you, but I'm kind of busy with my buddy over here. Once it's all over, I'd be happy to spend some time with you," he suggested to her sweetly.

Holy heck… I have never felt this… what's the word… flattered in my life. Is it me or has Cody been acting like a complete **mother **towards my cousin… and that would make people think that I'm- shit. Anne smiled as she shared a hug with Cody. "Thank you!" she said as she skipped off to find her other sisters. As Cody stood up, he shot me a small smile. "Wow… I never thought your cousins were fans of me."

I rolled my eyes with a smile. "Please, majority of my family have been rooting for you to win. If I was eliminated, you were the next person they'd cheer for… well most of them anyway," I admitted.

Cody blushed at the thought of being praised… by _my_ family. "Wow…" was all he said. I stared at him uncomfortably. "Yeah… wow. Now let's go find that formerly bald dimwit."

Cody laughed really hard at that point. "Oh man, that reminds me of Courtney calling Heather that exact same name!"

After five minutes of searching, mom called from the garden that I was going to help Dave. I started to panic because I only had another five minutes left to actually get him. "Dude! How big is your house?" Cody asked, exasperated at the thought of not finding Dave.

"He could be anywhere… even under the floorboards."

"Are you serious?"

I rolled my eyes, "I have never been more serious before in my life, honey."

"No kidding."

After a while, I found Dave, hiding behind the drapes. This is so embarrassing. "There he is," I whispered towards Cody. "Wow, you're right… he does suck at hiding."

I stomped towards him. "Hey, that's the worst hiding spot you've ever been in." Dave jumped. "I wasn't hiding! I was looking out the window," he protested.

"Yeah, that's what _all_ hide-and-seek players say… especially if they're noobs at it," Cody retorted. Dave looked at him in confusion, "Who's that?" he asked.

"That, my friend, is Cody. And if you're not going to take this the easy way, you leave me no choice," I warned him. Dave gasped. "I AM NEVER TOUCHING YOUR CRAP! NEVER!" he said, trying to make a run.

Sadly, he's just not as fast as I am as I literally jumped on him and held him down. "Now, Cody!" I screamed. Out of coincidence, Cody grabbed a rope on the side table and tied both of Dave's hands together. I wanted Cody to tie his feet down but mom would surely kill me for this. Once it was all over, I stared in shock at the knot Cody made. "Dude, where did you learn this?" I asked, astonished.

"Oh, that knot was nothing. I learned it in a special after school curricular event. I was a boy scout back then so that's how I figured it out," Cody explained. "I tried to explain it before, but the bickering of the guys cut me off." **(Do you guys remember that episode?)**

"Well color me impressed," I said. "Get me out of this rope man! I can already feel it getting greasy on my wrists!" Dave squirmed. "It's called 'sweat', Einstein. Man, you're even afraid of your own excretions," I said cockily. I looked at the time

"Oh, snap! I've got two minutes left. Let's go!" I grabbed Dave and ran to the garden with Cody following behind.

"NO, I AM NOT DOING THIS! FOR THE LOVE OF MERCY, NOAH, PLEASE LET ME GO!" Dave bawled.

"Sorry, bro, I don't know how to untie a knot that I didn't make," I replied blankly.

* * *

><p>"Noah, there you are! I see you found Dave, and your friend came here to help?" says mom, referring to Cody as the friend who came to help.<p>

"Oh, I just needed him to help me catch this nincompoop here," I replied.

"That's good dear, and your cousin is not a nincompoop, mind you. But since you arrived nine minutes late, you both have to do the work together," she commanded sternly. I sighed in frustration.

"What's wrong?" Cody asked me worriedly.

"Let's just say, I did my part with the gardening already. I hardly had the time to play video games and Dave just delayed me even more." I said.

"Oh... sorry dude," Speaking of which, Cody went towards Dave and untied the knot carefully. "You better not try to run this time," Cody warned. Dave glared at him. "When I get the chance I sure will," Dave said, trying not to sound threatened.

"Dude, your garden is huge!" Cody exclaimed. What? It's only a thousand square meters in length and width. I'm not rich, okay? I only have a large family that's all.

"Dave's is bigger. Speak of the devil, start digging," I said, handing Dave a used trowel. Dave gulped. "That looks… _really_ dirty." Cody made an 'are you serious' face as he watched.

"Don't be a baby," I said, losing my temper on him.

"Yeah... I'd rather be a big, whiny baby than to do _this_ job," Dave surrendered. I'm **not** letting him slip that easily. I rose with anger. "Take this trowel, dig up some dirt, call yourself a man, AND SUCK. IT. UP!" I snapped, making Dave turn a shade of white. Even Cody saw through my dark aura.

"Noah, language!" yelled my mom. Some of my siblings and Dave's siblings snickered.

"I can't help it mom, I am BEYOND done with this right now so please let me handle it," I replied, trying not to sound too harsh.

"Alright, fine! I just don't want to hold it, that's all! It's dirty!" Dave whined. I rolled my eyes in frustration.

"That's why we wear gloves. Dig through it." I answered, giving Dave a pair of used gardening gloves. Dave shuddered even more.

"But you used them earlier!" he complained. I glared at him more "So?"

"So it's got your sweat all over it!" Dave whined.

"Well I won't be bothered getting you a clean pair because this is the day you act like a _real_ man, Dave," I said sternly.

My mother and sisters paid no attention, but one of my sisters walked right up to us.

"Man, don't be such a girl, Dave. Get digging!" she nagged and later walked off to help remove the weeds. "My point exactly," I added. It's good to see a family standing up for each other every once in a while.

Dave still hesitated. I sighed in annoyance, "I can take all day for this, Dave. What's it gonna be?" I was pretty sure Dave wanted to escape, but I made sure that wouldn't happen. Cody made sure of that too by standing near the door to the living room. It's either he goes through there or the front fence if he wants to escape. "Fine! I'll do it," Dave cried out and grabbed both the equipment from my hands, gagging as he placed the gloves on and held the trowel. "Now dig up that rose over there, if you want to start things out simple," I commanded.

He glared at me. I can't help but nag him. _Somebody_ has to change him otherwise I'll be living out my life with embarrassment because my cousin, a lovesick weirdo who gave up his hair and the money just to win a girl, is a chicken to dirt.

Cody on the other hand found some time with my cousin and ended up spending some time with her while I'm here, training my mysophobic cousin how to suck up his fear of dirt and germs.

"Dave, please take this bag of manure and pour it on that vegetable box over there," my mom requested. "Noah, go help him out." Just what I needed... A bag of cow pat and my mom asks two scrawny weaklings to carry it across the pathway.

Dave's eyes shrunk as she gave him a huge bag of cow pat. "OH NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! I AM NOT DOING THIS ANYMORE," he yelled. I glared as I took a rose that he cut and stood up. "Dave, we are going to keep on going through this until you get it right," I scowled.

Cody came up to us with Anne with him. "Hey, what's happeni- Oh, dude! Talk about toxic waste man!" I sighed. "No kidding. Here, take this," I said, giving Cody the rose Dave took out.

Cody smiled as I threw it to him, but once Cody touched it, he held it like it was on fire. "Oh… why thank yo-ow, ow, ow, ow!" he exclaimed. Man, is his skin that sensitive to thorns? He finally got a grip on it and walked to the living room with Anne by his side. "That's so cute!" she said. "Yeah, yeah… let's go," Cody said, trying not to make her think of anything that's out of the ordinary.

It turns out Dave's not even good at digging out flowers. "Alright, I'll help you lift this… you owe me a five hour video game montage, Dave!" I shouted angrily. Once again, Dave was hesitant to even hold the bag. "I don't kno-"

"DO YOU WANT TO BE A MAN OR NOT?" I glowered at him. He jumped at this and grabbed the other side of the bag. "Alright, geez!" As we both carefully headed to the vegetable part of the garden, a bit of manure splattered on Dave's shoe, making him release the bag. And guess what? A five ton manure bag just landed on both my feet. "AH! FOR THE LOVE OF- DAVE WHAT THE HELL!"

"IT'S ON MY FOOT NOAH MAKE IT STOP!" Dave screamed, kicking the dirt off his now filthy shoe. I growled. "DON'T JUST GAG THERE, HELP ME!" I cried out. If anything, my voice should be GONE right now.

"Hey now you two, take it easy! Dave, help your older cousin!" nagged mom. Cody heard the ruckus and rushed outside to the garden. "What happened?" he asked worriedly. I winced in pain. "Oh you know… the usual," I answered. Dave finally got back to his senses and helped carry the bag. "Now you owe me a foot massage," I added darkly.

"Sorry…" Dave said. "Do you need any help?" Cody asked.

"You're enough help to keep my cousin distracted, Cody. Just go," I said, referring to Anne. Cody blinked at me, his smile getting worse, and walked back inside with a girl's hand in his.

After what seemed like decades, Dave and I finally reached our ten feet destination. Once we placed the bag down, I ended up sitting on the grass to help ease the pain off my feet.

"Damn… that really hurt," I mumbled, wincing in pain as I tried touching them.

"I'm really sorry, Noah," Dave apologized. All I could do was glare, and maybe scream at him. Instead, I just gave up and sighed. "You really just can't give up on it can you?"

"I'm already trying this for you," Dave answered.

"I don't want you to do this just for me, Dave! I want you to do this for yourself. How can you be proud enough to call yourself Sky's boyfriend if you can't even protect her from the most populous substance on the planet?" Dave said nothing in response. He just looked upset, _really_ upset. "I'm sorry… I'm such a-"

"Acting pessimistic definitely won't help," I warned. "And all the more I won't sympathize you for it."

"Alright! I know. I want to try but… I'm just so sick of it! I've been afraid of dirt because I got a disease when I first came in contact with it. It was horrible and I didn't want it to happen again so I stayed away from it!" he admitted.

"Diseases are nothing compared to near death experiences in the hospital," I corrected.

"Well I'm sorry! I'll try to change, I promise! No more complaints." I stared at him skeptically. I don't know if I have the time, or energy, to get up on my now broken feet and help him.

"Help him now, Noah, we're burning daylight," my mom interrupted. Of all people, it just HAD to be me. Dave lent me a hand and I took it, trying to myself up.

"Fine, but this is your _last_ chance, got it?" Dave nodded swiftly in response as I returned to him a serious look. I took a deep breath before saying "Time to get dirty."

After an hour of digging, planting, harvesting, worm picking and bacteria covering labor, we finally got the job done. A few bugs landed on Dave, making him scream and cry like a girl trying to swat them off. And it turns out that he's got no fatal allergic reaction towards any of them. After what seemed like days, mom finally told us to take a break. "Alright, we're done here. Great job, everyone! Now you may all get inside and wash up."

Dave and I were covered with dirt and bacteria. And after thirteen long years, Dave finally came over his fear… sort of. His allergies have also been tested. The result was a negative. We were both relieved. "We did it, Noah! Thanks so much for helping me!" he said, hugging me. I stared down at him shockingly. "Yeah… sure…" I replied slowly.

Without paying attention, Cody came in and checked on us. "Hey guys, how was the- aww well isn't that adorable?" he snickered. I glared at the dork and pushed Dave away quickly. "Yes, yes it is," I replied sarcastically.

"Great, now I'm going to tell Sky that I'm a man now!" Dave said victoriously.

Cody looked at him confusedly. "Wasn't he a man in the first place?" he whispered to me. "Yeah… but not the kind of man that acts like one," I whispered back.

"Out of topic but where's Anne?" I asked.

"Oh she's asleep," Cody replied. "Why are you drenched in dirt?" he asked back. "Why don't you take a guess… when did she sleep?" I replied. "A while ago. I lulled her to sleep," he answers.

I snorted. "I didn't know you could do that," I teased.

"It's not funny, Noah!" Cody whined.

For some reason, Dave headed for the door. I race walked towards him, "Whoa, whoa, whoa where are you going?" I asked, halting him.

"I'm going to see Sky today, why?" he answered. I looked over to a clean Cody and we both smirked. "You know, you can't go to your girlfriend's house looking like that," Cody mentioned, referring to Dave's condition.

"And I hate to mention that we both haven't had lunch yet," I added.

Dave looked at himself and panicked, "Oh shoot, you're right! AAAH!" And off to the shower he went. Cody and I couldn't help but laugh with each other. "Man, Dave got over his fear of germs so much he forgot that he was covered with them," Cody laughed.

I laughed and later realized that I too was in the same situation, except for the fact that I'm scared of dirt. "Yeah… I gotta take a shower too," I said, looking at myself. Cody scanned my body for any clean spots and nodded. "I agree… even your eyes could use some cleaning."

"Thanks… that means a lot to me," I replied sarcastically. "By the way, thanks for 'babysitting' my cousin. I owe you one," I said, smiling at him genuinely.

"No, no, you gave me your Wii for the weekend. It's the least I can do," he replied, smiling sheepishly at me. Suddenly, my ten year old cousin walked in on both of us and grinned. "Hey, it's the guy you kissed!" he said. My eyes widened in shock, as well as Cody's.

I quickly turned to him and glared. "No, I didn't kiss a guy!" I lied.

"Yes you did, your sister said so!"

"It's a lie!"

"It's the truth!"

"Lie!"

"Truth!"

"Lie!"

"Truth"

"LIE! IT'S A LIE AND YOU KNOW IT," Out of the corner of my eye, Cody slowly headed for the door. "Yeah… I think I'll go home now. Thanks for letting me spend time with you and your cousin!"

"Truth!" my cousin interrupted.

"LIE!" I screamed.

"It's true! I saw him blush!" he said, pointing behind me.

"What?" I looked back, only to see the door shut behind me. But wait, that's not the exit.

"That's the garage, Cody," I reminded. Cody immediately went out of there and into the exit, red with embarrassment.

"Sorry!" he stammered as he swiftly left the door shut.

I glared and looked back at my cousin. "You just embarrassed him!" I yelled. How can this boy think that?

"Did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not!"

"DID. TO."

"Boys! Time to eat, and Noah, take a bath man! You smell like manure!" yelled my older brother.

"That's because I'm COVERED in manure, Einstein," I retorted.

"Just go, smartass!" he retorted back.

I rolled my eyes and sighed in defeat and headed upstairs, only to figure out that Dave was still using it. And to top it all off, it's _my_ bathroom in the house. "DAVE! YOU'VE BEEN IN THERE FOR TOO LONG. GET OUT!"

I heard nothing until Dave shouted back, "I'M TRYING TO FIX MY HAIR HERE!"

My fist tightened as I prepared for a kick. "SON OF A GUN DAVE, DON'T MAKE ME BANG IN THERE!"

* * *

><p><strong>And the somehow lived happily ever after. I've seen weird crack pairings and if you were to ask me what my crack pairing is… I'd say CodySamey but more likely as a sibling kind of relationship. Dave and Ella is also a good pairing. And PS: Who here has tried the Fanfiction Maker? **

**TRY IT, IT'S BLOODY HILARIOUS. **

**Anyways, hope you enjoyed this story and stay tuned for the Gidgette one! I'm in the middle of making it and it seems so rushed so I might have to consider revising it.**

**BTW: THERE WILL BE A SECOND CHAPTER SO STAY TUNED! I hope you enjoyed this and thank you to everyone who have given me so much support. **


	2. Chapter 2: Bricks and Grease (End)

**I'm back! And this is the last chapter of the story. To those who didn't notice, I updated he first chapter so feel free to read it again if you did. It's upsetting to ship Skave sometimes; they're not even together anymore and it all happened a little too fast. Writing fanfictions about them doesn't really change much. And as I said, if you tried the Fanfiction Maker then that's great. It's weird**

* * *

><p>Lunch was almost over, and the entire family just can't stay quiet now can they? I finished long before everyone else did, and my dad still tells me to stay seated as a sign of 'respect'. I couldn't help but fall asleep on the table, but my brother sitting next to me will without a doubt drop a glass of water over my head. I've had my bath, my hair's still wet and it turns out Dave lied that he was fixing his hair. I figured out that he was clipping his toenails instead after seeing a piece of 'evidence' on the bathroom floor.<p>

Everyone around me kept talking about life, boys, and my humiliation back in Total Drama. I groaned in boredom as I slouched in my seat, waiting for everything to slip by as if nothing happened.

Once Dave had his plate cleaned, he stood up and headed for the door. "Dave, where are you going?" asked Dave's mom. Dave gave us all a smile, which I believed to be creepy, and replied "I'm going to get some fresh air!" He shut the door and started skipping like a retard.

"Where's he off to? I thought you rid him of his fear of germs," my brother told me. I rolled my eyes as I placed my elbow on the table and started spinning my fork around with my finger. "He did. He's off to the Land of Humiliation at the moment. Let him go," I replied.

"Oh, ok. By the way, how do you DO that?" he asked me astonishingly. I stared at him blankly, "Do what?"

"Don't act dumb on me. How do you spin that fork with just one finger?!" he said, eyes widened and pupils shrunken.

I stared at the ceiling and thought rhetorically before answering "Force, balance, speed, not something a slacker would understand. It's just basic physics my friend."

"You should talk, considering that you're a slacker as well," he argued.

I smirked, "Yeah, a slacker who has skills." My brother glared at me in defeat and threw his hands in the air in annoyance. "AH! I wish I had Noah's brain! Mom, can we do a brain exchanging session thing?" he asked with idiocy.

My mom smiled in scepticism, "When I steal myself a pot of gold from the leprechauns, I'll do it." My brother's face lightened up as he sighed in relief. "Oh thanks, mom! Let's start the search now!" I mentally laughed at this. "If it helps, I'll lend you my pet unicorn to send you two there," I added. My mom and some of my cousins laughed in response. All my brother did was shake his head amusingly. It's just too bad Dave had to go, just when we all started having fun.

I got off my seat from the table. "Yeah, I've had enough chat for today. I'm going to take a break in my room," I said.

"Sure thing, son," my dad said. Damnit, I should have asked for the slip an hour ago. As I went to my room, I saw a pile of bricks by my door, with a note attached to it. I looked around to see if anyone placed them there. I glared and took the note.

_"Dear Noah,_

_These bricks are for you. Anne's parents requested me to take the bricks outside the house and I figured hey, you might need these in case somebody barges in on you. Once again, thanks for lending me your wii! Have fun with them, Noah!_

- _Cody"_

First of all, why would Cody give me a set of bricks? Second of all, when did this happen? I sighed in frustration as I slammed the door to my room, ignoring the bricks. I slammed my face on the bed, pondering about my life. Without caring, my door creaked open, and a pair of footsteps started tiptoeing towards me. "Noah?" It was Anne.

"What?" I muttered, face still smothered onto my mattress.

"Did you see the bricks Cody and I gave you?"

"Yes I did. They're lovely. Thank you. Now kindly go away please."

"Can I please know more about Cody?" she asked. I groaned in response as she tried tugging my shoe off my foot. "Can't you see I'm tired?" I asked, still not lifting my head.

"I just want to know… I won't ask for anything else. I promise," she begged, actually taking my shoe off this time. I groaned once more and hung my legs over the side of my bed. I took my shoe back from Anne's hand and looked into her eyes. "What about him do you want to know?"

"Everything," she said. I sighed. "Honey, I don't know _everything_ about him. That would make me a complete stalker."

"Well whatever you know," she responded.

"Huh. All I know is: he's a player, he's straight, he's dorky, he's an idiot sometimes, he's got tons of allergies like most of us in this household, he's got a stuffed emu named Jerry and- wait are you jotting down all of this?" I asked as she started writing on her hand. "Do you have a crush on that guy or something? He's, like, six years older than you!"

"Yes. I don't have a crush on him, I'm just a big fan of him. He treats me like he's my mom!" she replied. Shit, and I thought I was the only one who thought that. "And I thought I was the only one who knew that," I mumbled to myself.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing… is there anything else you want? If so, then please hesitate to ask," I replied.

"I don't wanna hesitate! I want to stay with you. It's BORING out there," she whined.

"Well I want peace and quiet."

"Well **I **want to be with you today. I'm bored!"

"And I'm TIRED!"

"PLEASE!"

I growled in response. I guess napping will have to wait… again. I didn't want to reject a 12 year old girl otherwise I'll get abused by a 30 year old uncle. "Okay fine! Just… uh… get those bricks you and Cody gave me. We'll find out what to do with them," I wearily requested.

"Yay! Can you help me?" she asked. I rolled my eyes. I am WAY too tired to do this. I guess it can't be helped anymore. "Fine." I stood to my feet and took the bricks that they both gave me. That was so uncalled for, and I literally have no idea what to do with them.

"Let's build a tower with these!" Anne said.

"Too dangerous… these aren't like your toy blocks back home," I answered blankly.

"Then… let's throw one at each them at each other and we can catch it!"

"That's even more dangerous, unless if you hate me and you want to give me a black eye."

"Sorry… let's make them act like dolls!" Yep, she's totally lost it.

I sighed and walked over to my window, where my telescope is. That's right, I have a telescope in my room. I looked through it and as I looked around, I saw Dave running towards a house… probably Sky's house. Who knew Sky lived so close to our home. I smirked as a visual light bulb rose onto my head. I looked away from the telescope and towards Anne, who was pretending that the bricks were like her own Barbie dolls. "I think I found a better way to use them…"

I went under my bed and got a spy gear set that my older brother gave me when I was ten. Even after eight years, the gadgets still work fine. I grabbed a slingshot, a paper and pen and started calculating. "What are you doing?" Anne asked.

"Patience, Annabelle… we're just about to get devious," I said as I revealed my calculated drawing. She looked at it confusedly, trying to work out how I solved it. "How did you do that?"

"It takes a broad mind to do this… Now if I can just get the trajectory to match," I went over to my window and stared through my telescope. Dave was just a few streets away and was waiting to cross the road. I grabbed a tracking device from the kit. I placed it at my slingshot and prepared to aim. Dave was already a hectometer away. Strangely enough, our neighborhood is pretty small and that just made it easier for me to shoot right at him.

"Come on… I've only got one chance," I muttered to myself. At the right time, I released it according to the distance I should stretch the band to. Unfortunately, my slingshot doesn't have enough elasticity for the rubber band, but this should do. Anne went over to the window and looked outside. "Pretty…" she mumbled. I smirked and looked through my telescope again.

Finally, the tracking device struck Dave, right on his thigh. I saw a hurt expression on his face as if he's been stung. "Oops…" I muttered worriedly. My smile returned as he shrugged it off.

"Have you found a way to use the bricks now, Noah?" Anne asked. I smiled at her. For some reason, all my weariness just flew away, and mischief overflowed me. "We're going to do a little spying on your brother, Dave," I answered to her.

"Oh… but how will we use the bricks?" she asked again.

"Leave that to me," I replied. This should shake off my moodiness. Spying on Dave and watching out for Sky was a brilliant idea. I've seen how Sky treated Dave and I'm not going to let that happen again. Why? It's simply because Dave's my cousin and whatever he goes through affects my reputation. NO way am I letting those two make fools out of themselves.

* * *

><p><strong><span>Dave's POV<span>**

"Ouch!" I exclaimed. It felt like something just stung my thigh. But soon after, the pain faded away so I shrugged it off. Now that the road was clear, I crossed it. It was great of Noah to just make me get over my fear of germs and all that stinks. However the truth is, I'm still a bit scared of it. But I don't care! I get to tell Sky that I'm free now. And maybe I can talk a little bit about my family to her.

I walked over to her and knocked her door. I could just feel her presence coming through. I sighed romantically as I took a flower from her front garden and sniffed it. Sky opened the door and smiled at me, her eyes fluttering with excitement. "Hi, Dave!"

"H-hi!" I answered.

"So… what brings you by today? And you smell great by the way! Did you take a shower?"

"Only three times a day. I'm here to tell you that I'm no longer afraid of germs! I'm here to tell you that I'm a man now. Isn't that great, Sky?" Sky gasped in response as she gave me a hug, making me blush. "Oh, that's great, Dave! I never knew you'd come over it!"

"Believe me… I did it all for you," I said. I lied to Noah. I just wanted to get over it for Sky. I didn't see it coming but when I did, I immediately thought of Sky praising me if I came over it.

"Aww, that's so sweet!" she said as she shared a kiss with me. I returned it. "I love it when you kiss me…" I replied.

"I do too…"

**[*Back in Noah's room…* Noah and Anne watched through their TV, where he transmitted the data from the tracking device towards his connector. "Oh that is so CORNY!" Noah gagged. "That's so cute!" Anne said. "This show is not appropriate for 12 year olds honey," Noah reminded. "I don't care!"]**

"So, let's see if you really are not afraid of dirt anymore. Come with me to my mini training course," she said, welcoming me in. I smiled and obliged.

"My family's out for the weekend so it's just you and me," she said. All the more I smiled at this. "So, babe, what are we doing today?" Dave asked flirtatiously. **["I'm THIS close to hitting him with a brick,"** **Noah growled as he kept tossing a brick up and down on his hand.]**

* * *

><p>"This is what we're doing!" Sky replied. I gulped in response. In her training course was grease… and LOTS of it. "G-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-g-" I started.<p>

"Grease? You named it, Dave! My sister bought me a grease training course if you ever want to get over your fear of germs with me," she replied. Why did I ever ask for this? She turned away from me and walked towards the icky, yucky… ugh… do I even need to say it all? It made me forget that I worked for Noah earlier!

"Yeah… I think I'll pa- OW!" I cried out as a brick hit my head. On that brick was a note:

_"Don't be a baby, Dave. Get out there and show her what you're made of!_

_- Noah"_

NOAH? NOAH?! WHEN DID HE SAY ALL THIS? "What's wrong?" Sky asked.

"It's Noah! He sent me a note on a brick! When I find him I'm gonna- OUCH!" I cried again as another brick hit my head. I winced in pain as I took another note out of it.

_"Don't you dare talk shit about me after everything I went through for you! You lied to me and now you're making me think that I wasted my time on you?! NOT HAPPENING. GET YOUR ASS OVER THERE AND START GETTING DIRTY DAMMIT!"_

I glared. How does he do that?! How is that even possible? This isn't fair! I crumpled the paper and looked at the grease. I gulped. "I'm gonna die…"

Sky giggled and kissed my head where I got hit, "No you won't, Dave. Your cousin's right. It's time you show him, and me, what you're made of… wherever Noah is." I smiled in response. Sky's calming effect is still rubbing off on me. I took a deep breath and nodded.

"That's the spirit, Dave! Now let's get greasy!" Sky said with determination. I would think that she's crazy, but come to think of it, I'm crazy for her so… "You're right… I'LL DO THIS FOR YOU SKY!" I winced in pain as I received another brick on my head. "AND YOU TOO, NOAH! WHEREVER YOU ARE…" After that, I fell to the soft, greasy land, after having to endure all those blows to my head.

**30 minutes later…**

"Are we done now…?" I asked weakly. THIRTY. FREAKING. MINUTES. And Sky asks me to crawl, smother, and even drench myself in grease in hopes of gaining immunity over it. I wanted to cry, run or even scream, but I didn't. It turns out that Noah DID help me, and Sky helped me even more! "I… I feel… GREAT!"

Sky grinned "You do?"

"Heck yeah I do! I've never felt this great in my life!" I screamed with elation. Sky chuckled softly and shared with me another kiss. We were both covered in grease and I didn't even care if her lips had grease on it! I smiled and returned it longingly. **[Noah and Anne see this and both gag, ready to barf, but both held it in. "Ugh… this is too gross even for me," Noah said weakly. "I agree…" Anne replied.]**

"Now that this is all over, I guess I'll take a bath now," Sky said, heading to the door.

"Want me to go bathe with you?" I asked flirtatiously… before receiving another blow to the head by a brick with a letter saying: _"NO."_ from Noah. That BETTER be the last brick he's ever thrown at me!

Sky blushed madly and later laughed after Noah ruined the moment! "He's right, Dave. We're both too young to do that sort of thing. And man, your cousin may seem cold, but he's actually a softie," she replied. **[Noah wanted to retort something to her, but she's a girl. He's not the type to hurt them... just boys or maybe some girls that piss him off. Besides, he guessed she was right…]**

I couldn't help but smile. Noah has done a lot for me hasn't he? First he comforted me, then he defended me, then he helped me, and now he's hitting me on the head with a brick. As crazy as it may be, I actually feel thankful for having me a brutal cousin like Noah. "You're right. So can I go after you?" I asked. Sky giggled and nodded. "Of course, Dave."

* * *

><p>"That was so cute!" Anne said. I eagerly turned off the TV. There's NO way I'm seeing Dave's full moon… especially in front of his own sister. "Okay, fun's over… can I sleep now?" I asked her.<p>

"But… we haven't thrown all these blocks yet," she replied. Out of nowhere, one of my older brothers opened the door to my room. He happened to be the grudge of the family. The bully I may correct…"Oooh…. Did you just get a note from Cody? He gave you those bricks? That's so sweet!" he mocked. I glared at him viciously. "Gee…. I wonder why he gave these to you, because he's an idiot maybe?" he snickered and started laughing mischievously. Without warning, I took a brick and threw it on his nuts dead on. **(This is a cartoon series… the characters ALWAYS survive at some point… even though it's a reality TV show, even though it's not) **I went to the door and kicked him out.

"Suck it, jerk," I muttered darkly towards him. Luckily, Anne didn't feel scared. "Yeah! Don't diss Cody like that!" she cried angrily. I smiled, went over to her and patted her head, "Looks like my cousin's growing up…" I said. "And if you ever grow up… could you promise me one thing?"

"What?"

"Don't be like Dave."

* * *

><p><strong>And that's the end of it! Now you've seen what a genius Noah can be and what a COUSIN Dave can be sometimes. Like I said, I take requests. So if you're interested, PLEASE by all means let me know. Anyways, thanks so much for all your continued support. I'll be posting hiatus reminders very soon so stay tuned! Until then, I'm out.<strong>


End file.
